-the colours of my life-

Things have been going rather hectic..

spent 29th Feb tearing down..amazingly time passed v fast..e only thing was that we almost got into trouble for carrying the LD boxes onto the skytrain..crap..2.30am..last train..n no passengers..anw, e case was dropped..guess after he saw how hard-working we were trying to remove stickers off the sky train..running from airside to landside..

went hom at 8.30am..tried for finish as much as possible..QH n i fell aslp on e cab n almost missed our house..wow..n i went home n slept like a big fat LOG..lol...

woke up at around 1.30pm..den went MPCC to return dar's library books den meet ML n we went airport to clear T3..lucky dar came to help if not i dunno how to clear it alone..my my..till 8.30pm..den ML sent us to PP..had dinner at Sakae n slacked at PP water fountain..last min decision to camp over at my house..

we had a gd talk..we voiced e same suspicion we had..lol..it muz b pretty obvious..but prob i was so used to it tat i started not to bother..anw, it's not as impt as it was a mnth ago..prob if it were true i would hav gone for it..but now is all too late..i hav kinda lost e feeling already..

Sun was spent at airport..wanted to ask her to confirm our suspicion but i cannot bring myself to do it..too paiseh already..haa..chicken..

no idea y..suddenly felt like a big ton of load was thrown onto me..i felt like i couldnt breathe..so suffocated..i suddenly felt so emo..n wanted to give up..it was so bad..tat i couldnt stop crying..e decision came so strongly that i decided to take action yst..went through a difficult phrase..i'm actually surprised i made this decision..

anw, so much for all the drama..i suddenly saw another option..which i felt that themin's advice was so correct - leave ur doors open - more choices for u will let u make e right one..i really chose this as i felt tat i could still fight this battle..i believe i still can pull through this difficult phrase in life..

e only person i can blame in this entire episode would b myself..i lack e self discipline..easily distracted..n nvr knew my direction in life..i only wanted to follow e crowd..n when i wanted to b different i tend to do perform e extremes n shock e entire world with my actions..as everyone puts it..i'm too happening..which actually isn't a bad thing as it makes life interesting =)

to my parents: i'm surprised at e way we reacted..thks for supporting whatever decision i'm gonna make but i hope my decision is right now..

Dar, thks for accompanying me e entire day n making me laugh n forget my worries n sadness..i know u'll support me all e way..b it in studies, my life, my friends, my family..though we only know each other for a short while but it seems like we knew each other a long time..fate brought us together n i hope our friendship n love will go a long way to come as we're both matured in thinking n know wat we want in our lives..

XY, thks for offering ur help..but I really feel v 对不起 to everybody i know in SMU..i hav chosen a different path from everyone else n i knew i was always different in some way or another..thank u for ur support..but i know my limits have reached n hav hit that brick wall..i wanted to take 2 steps back to move back to square one but i've decided to go hit tat brick wall n break it down..

Prof, thks for ur advice..i nvr knew we could talk like this one day in ur office n it was a really great session..i used to think i was black-listed by u but it was probably juz my assumption all e while..

to e rest of my frens who i have consulted: thks for everyone's advice and for being there for me..

i realised i've become weak once more..where did my fighting spirit go? i'm not one who gives up so easily..juz nitto find myself back n things shld kick off once again..life will return to normal..

-i will survive-

scribbled by =CaLiStA= at 4:04:00 PM