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one presentation down..yay! today Ethics presentation..prof vented his anger on us..zzz..suay la we..but our presentation turned out damn boring..dont wanna talk abt it..anw, its over! yay..
Monday was spent e entire day in sch doing Ethics..v boring..wanted to slp..
harj came in e evening n we went to Race Course coz she wanted to get a hp..her current one CMI liao..well..went all e way there..i didnt know such a place exists! it was seriously crowded..its like a hp trading place..anw, they only accepted cash..n we had to walk damn far to withdraw money..silly mrt dont have atm machine..weee..red 6300...nice.. =)  Pretty red phone comes with pretty casing :)
today spent e entire evening doing MPW..our slides look damn pro..i like =) cant wait for tmr..i wanna go GH for tarot reading!! weeee...
today i v guai..nvr go pp..actually wanna go get ice-cream..dunno if it's juz an excuse or really a craving..but..i called daddy to fetch me..coz i'm tired of walking around in heels..haa..me and my excuses.. :P
scribbled by =CaLiStA= at 12:08:00 AM
wee..guess wat..i'm done with my presentation slides for my MPW and Ethics presentation..hope i didnt leave anything out..i'm really brain dead..
This 2 days were spent in school..Saturday 10am..MPW-ing the entire day..i like my MPW grp..we hav fun..n we do work..n we talk some crap..hee..at least MPW turned out alright..it was the NO PROGRESS project coz we couldnt get a company..lucky we were saved last min by Purple Sage.. *heave sigh of relief*  Me & my MPW grp :) forgot i was wearing glasses..but well..who cares.. Worked at night..upstairs again..but guess wat..it wasnt as bz i tot it would be..damn slack..i always feel lost..like i dunno wat to do..den i'll juz stand there like any newbie..i really dont like the arrangement..like pp last time..all stuck together like sardines..not only is it difficult for customers to eat..but also diff for us to serve or clear anything..  They said I had to wear..but see how retard i look? took it out..hehe.. we were done by 10pm..except for that grp in e private room..but i managed to leave at 1030..hungry lehz..stole lots of chips..n David offered me fish -- Seabass, Stingray, platter fish..but i paiseh..so nvr eat..
 GH kitchen manager David n i.. it supposed to be a renovation plan for PP which nvr worked out..haha..
lucky 36 came once i reached the bus stop..and got seats! wee..went to buy dinner at pp..2nd day of Macs dinner..n i spent e night reading up on my Ethics..gosh..and of coz the post on Ella's dog..
tody another day..couldnt go church =( 10am..Income Tax meeting..followed by Ethics..Ethics grp..i seriously speechless..dunno wat to say too..at least we are almost done..juz e slides..n rehearsal..yay..n tdy work again..if i had a choice i would fly their kite..but i felt bad since i already did that last Sat..it turned out damn boring..i almost slept while walking..lucky Eric let me off at 9pm..on e bus..i suddenly felt really v sad..like something was missing..i suddenly tot..where did e 2yrs go? wat went wrong? if he didnt go indo wat will we be like today? information overload! :(  Wanna have dinner with our new frens of GH? :P
went pp hoping to get some decent dinner..but..9.45pm..all e foodcourt close liao..didnt feel like eating fishy so decided..Macs again..didnt notice Harj n Sufi sitting at table 3 till i heard my name called so loudly for the entire pp to hear..haha..sorry darlings..i really v v tired..seriously..i was too tired to even talk..i juz wanted to get food n go home..
bad news waiting at home..i got a shock to see extra shoes..my 2 cousins were staying over..(some soccer match which is over..some side scored n my brother ran 2 rounds round the house b4 jumping on the sofa..haha..)..it was e last straw..i couldnt react..but to breakdown totally..it was too much for me to take..n to add on..dad was going for an eye op tmr..n mum's scheduled for an op too..i think next to go for op will be me liao..this yr is seriously shit..
thankfully i still hav a strong will..brushed myself up in e toilet with a bath..n continue fighting this battle..well, at least i got e stuff done up..good or not..i dunno..i've no more brain cells to think anymore..
the rest of this week looks bleak..everyday is gonna be spent in sch..if not at home chionging projects..u know what..it's only 4 weeks to exam..n i've so much to study..gosh..still have Income Tax, AMA, AIS, Ethics, MPW & MPW reflections report..omg..i really need supernatural energy to finish all this..
it's really time to take him off my mind..it's taking up my brain storage space..coz subconsciously somehow..i'll still think of him..but it's not going to get me anywhere..i really nitto let go..
-breakdown..dont u breakdown-
scribbled by =CaLiStA= at 2:48:00 AM
was listening and singing this song..written by Ella..in memory of her beloved dog - Qiang Qiang..it's juz so sad that i cried..
<<蔷蔷>>
还记得你喜欢咬著我的手
然后给我你嘴里的球
要我陪你玩丢丢
你喜欢我摸摸你的小耳朵
窝在我的身旁
没有烦忧
在梦里遨游
好狗狗 好狗狗
谢谢你陪妈咪这么久
你并没有离开我
是搬到天堂生活
蔷蔷
你要记得我
你不要走丢
快快找到天使
在天堂给我(们)保佑
蔷蔷
不要忘了我
还有亲爱的阿姨叔叔和你的朋友
你永远活在记忆中
did i mention that K Box in PP has closed down? omg..this is calamity! i really pray they're juz undergoing renovation..but apprently, it has been taken off the list on their website.. *faints*
scribbled by =CaLiStA= at 1:48:00 AM
its almost 3am..n i've progressed so so little for MPW..think i shld go slp soon..my brain is dead..
studied income tax e entire morning..continued in KFC n had lunch..this bunch of kids..think they're Jap..thinking they own e entire restaurant..make so much noise..wth..i so feel like slapping e girl who had a irritating laugh..den they play n throw ice n all..madness..
went sch at 3pm..income tax exam was do-able..hope i did it correctly..so scared i do do but all the stuff put wrongly..den as gd as nvr do right..hopefully i can get at least 80%..den i feel accomplished..esp sacrificing so much for it..
actually didnt wanna work tonight..but it seemed like they were really understaffed..so i went..but request to end at 10..went there at 630..1st thing..my 'best fren' came to irritate me.. his 1st task: 'clear everything on the table b4 e customer sit down..' hmm..didnt managed to..fail! haha..
2nd task: say for me the service pledge..i was like HUH..n it came out in bits n pieces..i guess i muz hav looked damn funny..coz he laughed..i was like.. 'i am a fisherian n i love my guest. from this day forward i solemnly swear..no..declare n promise that whenever a customer comes within 10 feet of me, i will greet him..no..i will look at him n smile..noo..i will look at him in e eye..greet him n smile..noo..die..' Eric was trying not to laugh i think..n i had to repeat after him..lol..n 'best fren' said i hafta memorise within a week..gosh..shall disappear from GH..haha..
n he happily eat staff meal n observe me from the kitchen..stressful u know..
3rd task: wat do u know abt halloween promotions? 'i know abit' how confident are u? '90%' shoot..n i got whacked..haa..go learn now..i test u later..grrr... no wonder noone wan go send e bills downstairs..i passed e 2nd round..after getting held on n poked by him..gosh..
n guess wat..he said i looked like strawberry shortcake..like how sia? seriously..i think there's no link..everytime i go down he sure got things to say to me..waaa..n coz noone really wanna send e bill coz they fear of going down n be tested..i ended up running up n down..felt really weak tdy though..think coz i'm so tired+i nvr eat anything since lunch..will i lose weight with all tat climbing of stairs?hee..
3 main reasons y i dont like to work 2 GH:
1: hate to wait for 36 after work..i feel like murdering e bus driver..takes like damn long..
2: e restaurant is too big..do one thing muz walk so far..take so long..n e cloths r super dirty..
3: HQ pple always there..
customers there r seriously so nice..they will actually wait like half an hr for their food..amazing..pp is like..15mins already they chase..alamak..this lady actually waited almost an hr for her crab today..gosh..n pple r so polite..some pple in pp r like we owe them a living..so many new staff..but not messy..pp will be like hell..
went pp to get supper..n return his $..silly boy..not obvious ah..i muz personally go n return u..zzz..
u know wat..i miss pp somehow..
-some part of me juz subconsciously think of u-
scribbled by =CaLiStA= at 2:41:00 AM
i supposed to be mugging for Income Tax but well..
overslept..meeting starts at 9.30..but i only got up at 9..zzz..
msged him in e morn on e way to sch..dunno y i go explain also..not awake yet i guess..still living in yst's dream..i'm mad..so..i guess a 'i like you' beancurd became a 'i'm sorry' beancurd? wateva..i also dunno wat the beancurd represents also..it's juz beancurd..haa..i juz tot..since 2 days u nvr work n i nvr disturb u i shld disturb u early in e morn with a surprise at the door..haa..n indirectly showing concern so tat u hav ur breakfast..ok..wateva i juz said it was going one big round..the bottom line still sounds the same..haa..
was done with sch by 11.30..yay..was deciding e entire bus ride whether to study at pp or buy lunch home..hmm..e latter was more appealing.. walked into pp..n after a few steps..guess who i saw..hiyoh..fated la..i shld juz face it..but i cant..
my usual habit..after buying food will take e escalator n walk past pp..yst also..tats wat gave me away..tdy..nothing to give away..haa..but..i still felt weird..n walked past super fast!
went Starbucks at 4pm to study..weee..harj only came at 8+..b4 tat..devin went fishy to dine with his fren..so eventful..amazingly, with e sudden amount of caffine i've been taking in lately, it still hasnt come..haha..GOOD..
i ended up dining at fishy too..dunno y..haa..  Seafood Platter for 1 with Fried Cala n Jungle Freeze! :)
enuff of blogging..i shld get back to my income tax!! test tmr...why muz singapore hav so many taxes, terms n conditions?
Quote for today: They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them
-i'm such a confused girl..-
scribbled by =CaLiStA= at 12:34:00 AM
everyday school..
tuesday..ended up going to sch..help Harj print stuff..stayed till abt 8+..den we went PP for dinner..ate Pasar Malam food..den slacked at Starbucks..their Earl Grey Tea was super strong! wow.. and my income tax progress is SLOW.....
Today..i did something silly..dunno wat got into me..i suddenly juz got up at 8.30am with this silly idea of mine..n i went to carry it out..omg..wats wrong with me..i tot i got over liao..but....no?
full of energy..over e thing i did..but when i sat down in class at 12pm..i suddenly PMS..bad mood..activity was fun though..felt better after that..meeting only ended at 7+..went with Harj to pp for dinner..we had PastaMania!! yum yum.. =)
 this emoticon surely made my day..coz ebuddy makes it SOOO big! 
i like their Coriander Chicken pizza! so tasty.. =)  slacking outside fishy..
ahhhh.. dumb..haa..
i felt so nervous..guilty conscious..i tot he would nvr guess..i was so scared to even ask Sufi..apparently..he guessed it was me..WHY? coz i walked past at 11+..win liao..9.30am -11+ is like 2 hrs..n still can link..NOOOO...i seriously dunno wats wrong with me..i juz cant seem to face him..why why why? i tot i got over le right? maybe it's the same theory tat harj n i were talking abt at PastaMania..sighs..
guess wat..i juz admitted..after denying it..coz..i felt so childish..juz admit it..no harm right..i really meant nothing den juz being sweet n buying breakfast? i DUNNO LA..i think i juz need slp..
-why am i always doing silly stuff??-
scribbled by =CaLiStA= at 1:09:00 AM
怎么隐藏我的悲伤失去你的地方
你的发香散的匆忙我已经跟不上
闭上眼睛还能看见你离去的痕迹
在月光下一直找寻那想念的声音
如果说分手是苦痛的起点
那在终点之前我愿意再爱一遍
想要对你说的不敢说的爱
会不会有人可以明白
我会发着呆 然后忘记你 接着紧紧闭上眼
想着那一天会有人代替 让我不再想念你
我会发着呆 然后微微笑 接着紧紧闭上眼
又想了一遍你温柔的脸 在我忘记之前
心里的眼泪模糊了视线 你以快看不见
was juz listening to Jay Chou's song with Harj n this song was played..and memories of my JC life came flooding back..memories of ZH n i...
Raining this morn..didnt feel like going for class but i still went..haha..guai..had some mock test..i'm so dead..
went Funan to hav lunch..den meet XY den meet MPW prof..n we rushed to e coy to give them e survey..i was so underdressed..
 the company..
got donuts..so sad..dont hav my fav donut..so got myself a Mint Donut n Harj a Strawberry Heart..hee..den we went GH to check my schedule n take my shoes..den go PGN n WP den T2 to check our their deco..WP is seriously v v nice..  our long long bus ride to T2..
we had Popeyes for dinner..yum yum..den studied awhile b4 going pp to slack..weee.. scribbled by =CaLiStA= at 11:32:00 PM
had meeting in e morn yst..gosh..it's a Sunday n i had to go to sch..at least it finished early..by 11.45 i was waiting for 36 to go home..hee..
decided that i shld spend some time with my family instead of going to Church..was hungry..and it has been a long time since i drove..alighted dad at PP for him to change his money den pick bro up n we went Bedok to try e Black Board..the food..was so-so only la..cannot win Botak Jones! that one is the ULTIMATE..we ordered a 4pcs fish n chips n some Chicken..but the 4pcs fish turned out to look like 2 pcs..zzz..wateva la..might as well go fish n co pay 13.90 look better also..mum was angry n she managed to get another piece from e person..sad to say..i dont wanna hav a 2nd try there anymore..  e sign, chicken n e small Fish & Chips..
went to meet Jac at her hse busstop den we went PP Popular to check out some book that she wanted to get..den i slacked at table 1..partially i had nowhere to slack n partially they asked me to look after table 3 coz they ordered super alot of Corona..wow..
met harj n we went to Citilink to hav dinner at NYNY..wanted to go for their desserts..but well, probably my lunch was late + i had bubble tea with jac + the mushroom cuppacino was super filling + i tasted this strong taste of chilli in my sandwich..i couldnt even finish 1 of the 2 sandwiches that was served n had to take away.. e bill took donkey ages to come..they were juz super busy..
Harj's 12 inch long sausage n my sandwich! yum yum.. =)
slacked e entire night at Starbucks..oh..we went to shop for a bday pressie for *ahem* n we're so out to irritate her..beta not mention if not spoil surprise...hehe....
scribbled by =CaLiStA= at 9:35:00 AM
time for some updates!
16 October 2007 Tuesday
AMA presentation..went to sch at 7.30am..it was pretty screwed..but oh well, at least it's over..
Ethics went in a blur..i was spending half the time watching my 9pm show..haa..
  Gelare half price waffle!! n a pretty looking cake at Gelare..
didnt go for AIS..i was drained..totally..went concourse to shop for stuff..den spent my evening at fishy doing e fish for halloween..  wrote dis with e extra paper..juz something sweet.. =)
had swensens for dinner..  yummy burger..n a large ice lemon tea..
17 October 2007 Wednesday Spent my day at home..why? coz i only woke up at 12.30..power..i totally ignored my alarm clock..and juz felt like slping till i was done..
went to meet harj at pp..we were too lazy to go anywhere..and we juz had dinner at Sakae..yum..miss those days when i had Sakae almost every week..  the number of coloured plates we had.. 
Bought myself a new ring =)
slacked at fishy..as usual..actually i was pretty dressed up..tot they'll go clubbing n i could go grab some free drinks..but well..harj had totally no mood to club..so..home i went..to complete my 9pm show..e ending was pretty sad..so touching... =(
18 October 2007 Thursday
Facial! refreshing..nice =)
dropped by fishy to lend Jac my lappie..went Body Shop to buy some make-up for evening n i actualy signed up for membership..
Meeting in school..2 meetings in fact..n it was my 1st day at Glasshouse..
miraculously, i didnt really feel out of place..everyone was really nice..work was pretty fine..i dont miss e days we had table cloths..haha..n..things there are pretty dirty..i'm glad tat i work at parkway..seriously......got saboed..i had to do 7bday raps.. *faints* oh ya..Eric n Bhey mentioned that they hope i'll change e culture at GH..like how? wat does pp hav tat GH doesnt? hmm..anw, how can 1 person bring a change to an entire outlet? seems so impossible.. =(
its Double O time! sufi n harj came to meet me at GH..n we chiong to Double O..drank a little b4 i went to get food..dont wanna drink on a empty stomach..
e night was pretty ok..but things turned pretty messy..shall not elaborate..
19 October 2007 Friday
went back to sufi's hse to check..juz worried..
did opening..volunteerily..coz i felt bad..but things turned out bad..in fact..very very bad..beyond my imagination..
i cried..badly..till i reached sch..i didnt expect it to be so bad..u can say we were venting our anger on each other..i really felt in a daze..wat actually went wrong?
i couldnt wait for work to end..i couldnt concentrate..everything was so blurry..like i had double vision..
waited damn long for 36..thankfully there were seats..n e highway jammed big time..got home at 12.30am..
20 October 2007 Saturday
slept e day away..got up at 12.30pm..lolz..
Use my new cup i bought at Daiso..sweet right? :) call in sick at GH..went to Starbucks to study..den met harj for dinner..
 Harj's Fried Beef noodle at Xin Wang Cafe
slacked at pp..juz felt out of place..very very out of place..i really feel damn upset now..how i wish things would juz change..
-my life is like a roller coaster-
scribbled by =CaLiStA= at 12:00:00 AM
I supposed to update my blog tonight..juz had to go through something that seriously put me off the mood..i feel like fuck..i'm totally screwing up everything..
all i hav are qns..n i need ans..but noone can provide me with any..i seriously feel like giving up everything..tdy is already e 3rd time my tears r flowing..if only i could juz slp n all my problems be solved..
harj i'm sorry for leaving u last nite..i really cannot stay any longer..i was qns tdy n i cant give an ans..
KC i'm sorry for making u angry..i didnt mean to..i guess i'm juz too tired..
XY, sorry 4 not contributing much in e meeting tdy..i'm really not in any mood..
QH, i really miss e old me..i dunno where it went..i'm sorry for making u listen to my problems over n over again..maybe i juz nitto reformat my life..
-do nightmares ever end-
scribbled by =CaLiStA= at 1:16:00 AM
attended my 1st studies today..simple..was juz survey..done in half an hr..
went to meet harj..we went suntec..n got donuts..yummy =)  Me and my fav donut =)
met cel at PS to get the stuff for halloween..n back to PP for dinner..
presentation tmr..gosh..i'm so not in e mood..harj had a bad day too..girl, be strong k?
life is full of ups and downs..ups of coz make us happy..but downs r a test to us..it'll make us stronger..so we musnt give up..though we're young..we've been thru so so much..i've encouraged u, u've encouraged me..from these experiences..we grow..and mature ya? *hugs*
happen to catch e 9pm show on TV mobile on e way home..it was such a sad scene..suddenly..it juz hit me real hard..i'm really so confused..i really hope tat i didnt care so much sometimes..
how do one measure love? i guess all of us have our own measurement of love..right now, i cant put my finger to this qns..think e lack of slp has got me into thinking of e wrong stuff again.. *sigh*
-spread my wings n fly away-
scribbled by =CaLiStA= at 12:29:00 AM
have been in sch for nearly 6hrs..i'm drained..at least another 4 hrs more..
one proj down..i'm so glad..only left sch at around 8pm..gosh..see Microsoft Access see until my eyes went cross cross.. *faints*
went Cineleisure with Harj..we had pastamania! saw this nice Adidas shoes at a shop..so tempted to buy...but it's like $109..cant bear to part with that money lah..n i seldom wear shoes..if i buy..i'll need new socks too..hehe..
a healthy meal of salads for me.. =)
i've decide to be more heart hearted this time round..simple -- if u dont msg me..i wont msg u..y shld i care so much for something that does not benefit me in anyway? it's ur matter after all? y dependent on me?
scribbled by =CaLiStA= at 2:20:00 PM
in sch now..waiting for my grp member to finish keying in some data.sigh..it's a sunday!!
Went sch for AMA meeting on Friday..den went to meet AIS prof..n we realised tat our proj was pretty dead..there was still ALOT to do..gosh..she had another meeting so i had to do AIS at fishy till i started work..
managed to catch e food fair..but i seriously was too stressed out to eat much..sad..
a pretty busy Fri..eve of PH..as usual i was greeter..glad e day ended..i was so slpy..
did opening with Harj on Sat..haha..i said i wanted to come at 9.30 am n she say i siao..but in e end she was earlier than me..hahaz..coz mum made me wait for her breakfast..
went to stick my fishy pic in e office :P 
we were done at 10.30am n were sitting inside having our lunch..done even b4 staff meal..hee..
not a busy Sat..but it was so messy, esp coz e scullery nvr come..e bar was jammed with glasses..zzz
break time was spent discussing with our 3 lovely managers on e deco for halloween..wow..alot of things to do..i felt bad..like coz it's my last day n all..well, did bar at night..wasnt busy for a sat..amazingly there was a supply of glasses..so didnt nitto wash much..BUT..e night was exactly kind after all..a grp of 18 came in at 9.30..zzz..order 3 mocktails, 2 sweetlips..faints..jammed big time..
well, i didnt feel as sad as i tot i would be..probably coz i knew i would still be back a few days e upcoming week....doing halloween deco...got schedule for GH already..he actually asked me if i could start last night..wow..
woke up at 5.30am today..sent dad to airport..pity..couldnt buy alcohol stuff..it's illegal..dis kind of thing beta not play..if not i'll nvr be able to work in airport anymore..
this few weeks r gonna be hectic..with projs due..n lots to study..one mid (not so mid) term test coming up..
thinking of it now..actually i'm pretty sad..gonna miss everyone at pp..still thinking if i shld work tdy..i feel bad seeing there's only 5 staff..n 3 pretty new staff..
harj say my blog shld be where i vent all my anger..but well..it seems like everytime i see my blog i end up pouring my sorrows instead..i juz cant put a finger to wat i'm feeling..everything is juz seriously so confusing..i need an answer somehow....
-when will darkness turn to light?-
scribbled by =CaLiStA= at 12:21:00 PM
i'm so zombified..lack of slp..only slept 1...2...i think 3 hours?
went K Box with Tiffany n Harj last night..wee..i miss K Box!! haha..had fun..but it was only until 2am..sads..tot they close at 3..
walked to East Coast Macs and we slacked there..talking abt ourselves, broken relationships n how we shld react next time..it made it seemed like we hav been long time frens... =)
now at Fishy..wanted 2 get something from Shiela but she forgot..sads..nvm la..too tired 2 move my ass..so i shall juz sit here n rot till 11.30..hahas..  Teach Tiff to cut baguette..FLAT FLAT..haha.. -my last 2 days-
scribbled by =CaLiStA= at 10:42:00 AM
went QH's house yesterday. we spent the entire morning folding cranes n stars..
 
the cranes..n e finished piece =) took a cab to TTSH..wanted to borrow a wheelchair for QH but it was all full so she had to hop up to 10th floor..initially i didnt believe KC tat the ward was 11d bed 120 n asked jac for e email..she told us it was 10a bed 20..we managed to borrow a wheelchair n the nurse told us that 11d bed 120 was correct! i shld juz believe KC next time..haha..
he wasnt around so we went to hav lunch 1st n Harj joined us den we went up..wah..he looks ok..perhaps QH n i were scaring ourselves too much in e morning..he knows his own condition..n e cost of his hospital..initially we didnt know wat to say but he started talking first so it was ok =)
we left at around 4pm coz he said big boss was coming n we went to slack at Starbucks..den..we went town to have dinner..wanted to go club with them at night..but i had meeting in the morn today, plus i was in slippers.. =( hope to check our Dragonfly or MOS in time to come..hav been wanting 2 go MOS since i dunno when but nvr had e opportunity..sads.. my fav Classic hot Cocoa at Starbucks..yum.. Dinner at NYDC..whos the shy gal..lol.. i juz finished a free facial at SkinLab n it feels great..but it's not as nice as Leonard Drake..they squeeze my face until i wanted to cry..sob..n my face looks like crab now..ouch..
still in a dilema..yst i was in such regret that i wanted to backout..i feel so childish..i cant make up my mind..i juz feel so irritated with myself coz i'm so fickle n dunno wat i want..it's good tat i managed to stop myself tdy n submit my schedule for e coming week..no more regretting already..i've already made up my mind n shld stop faltering..wake up girl..juz study n not care abt e rest..life is more than that..... scribbled by =CaLiStA= at 2:40:00 PM
Happy Birthday to Wu Zun!! 1 yr older..
haha..i'm a dying fan..seriously..fan club? haha..
projects, projects n projects..nvr ending..my week is all PROJECTS~! *faints*
got news tat a colleague is in hospital..cancer..such a sad piece of news.. =(
another sad piece of news..everything is confirmed..KC juz had to tell me half an hr b4 i start work..or i read e msg half an hr b4 i started work..was so unmotivated to work..n..it turned out to be busy..full house with a mini queue for a few mins..n 4 staff..wow..i survived..
there's no turning back now..all i gotta do is juz move ahead..i'm starting to regret..but it's a decision that i've made..a path tat i've chosen..i realised tat i'm starting to lose everything there..i nitto learn to be independent..truthfully, it's gonna be better for me..hopefully..i'm near to tears..it's such a pain..
i realised that i'm still living in the shadow of my past..y am i so affected? y do i wanna know? there's so many things that's crowding my mind..u, him, projects, tests, studies...i need an organizer in my brain.. *faints*
on one hand i'm telling myself n everyone tat i dont give a damn n i dont care all i wanna do is to slap u, return me my stuff n part as strangers..but deep down inside..some part of me do care..i do wanna know..i wanna see u..there's still that tinge of hope that u still love me..i'm so silly..really...................
scribbled by =CaLiStA= at 12:00:00 AM
Continuation....
6th October 2007 Saturday
Harj didnt come..sick..girl ah..muz take care ok..
got pissed off by some new in-charge..i miss Clara..really really miss her lots..dis time round i had something different to do..to be the video camera person! it's pretty easy job..but e seminar was really really boring for one of them tat i actually dozed off..goodness..
there's 1 speaker whos super famous..he is v v charismatic n interesting..his topic was about IR n e future for housing..i learnt alot..let's share..
- at e site of e building of IR..we could count as many as 120 cranes! dis is Singapore's 1st largest gathering of cranes! wow...
- Singapore's quality of living going up..pple getting better stuff 4 their homes..e largest marble tile in someone's home was as big as 60cmx60cm..wow..not only tat..more classy stuff like taps, toilets..we'll soon hav jewel safes, bullet proof windows..blah blah..
- With IR, there'll be new jobs..how do we make quick profit??
== Supply poker cards - in high demand with casinos
== 1 arm bandit maintenance - all the jackpot machines!
== craft service to bintan - for e men.....
== roller coaster maintenance - who knows how to maintain roller coaster in Singapore?
== financial audit for casino - are we taught dis in sch?
== become du shen (赌神) or gambling king - Singapore dont encourage gambling.. =(
Conclusion: all this we need expats to come in to help us..if we cant be any of this..den...we shld go buy houses n rent out to these pple! also earn $$ lol..
he made a valid point..we can really earn lots of money from this IR thingy..
glad that 7pm came..had quick dinner at Fountain Terrace..n i actually went to queue for donuts from Donut Factory! yum yum..hee..i like..this lady infront..actually buys one dozen of double choc only..wow..i ask her if she came everyweek juz to buy she say if she comes den she buy but it is everyweek..n i juz happily state..it's coz u find reasons juz to be here right? n she nods her head..it reminds me of myself somehow.. =)
juz made a quick stopover at fishy to see if Cel changed my schdule..n went home to savour my donut..YUM YUM!! i love double chocolate..esp when it melts in ur mouth..SHIOK! =)
 7th October 2007 Sunday
8.30am..went to get Gloria Jean's coffee..buy 1 get 1 free!! haha..we're cheater bugs..use the coupon tat was given out to pple..Gloria Jean's coffee not bad la..but pretty ex..i'll prefer to go Coffee Bean n Starbucks any time..same price but larger cup!
silly pple ask us come at 8.30am but they all came at 9am..crap..nvm..they still paid us for coming early..if not we'll be angry..ask us come den like this..
went to sch to help them photocopy this insert..save them lots of money lehz..can u imagine..$0.20 n $0.03..100 copies..thats like $17 savings! love SMU ok..haha..crap..
today stuck entire day at 1 seminar area only..wow..e Q & A for this 3 pple was like POWER..it was super packed with pple..it was really an eye opener..so many pple interested in investing in property! but i guess it was mostly SG they were interested in..some pple dont fancy putting their $ overseas---fear of risk..
my total pay..is WOW..we had quick dinner again..coz Tian Hao had test e next day..will miss this grp of pple..forgot take photo =( we only see each other twice a yr..this is our 4th convention together already..but we know each other pretty wel lel..Tian Hao could actually tell me i'm a person tat follow my heart first..b4 i go rational..he's so right..i always do wat i think shld be done first, which always ends up being e less impt thing..e thing tat i like..den i'll regret..coz i'll ended pushing those that nitto be done last..like studying.. =(
dropped by fishy to give Harj her pay..actually can give another day..but well..it's juz me n parkway huh..went straight home..initially wanted to study for test..but Bernard called me out for a drink..n i went..kinda regret..it was pretty boring... =(
8th October 2007 Monday
Ethics test! i woke up early..but missed by 7.50am bus..grr..took a cab AGAIN..i really hate ERP..today my original fare was $7.40..cheaper than any other time! gosh..
exam was a 1hr movie n 2hr qns..the movie was pretty disturbing..on this Bhopal Disaster which took place in 1984..i really felt so sad after watching e movie..it was some gas leak by this company called Union Carbide..i pray for the victims of Bhopal Disaster..the effects are still seen today..are they genetic?
e rest of e day was spent on AMA project..gosh..i so feel like slping..lack of slp..
after meeting went to scout dad's diary refill..from SMU's bookshop..to Popular @ Bras Brasah..to Popular @ Orchard..to Borders..went to get the silicon cover for my baby ipod nano..hee..the guy wanted to con me in buying another cover for $39..e 1 i was looking at was $19..but pay xtra $20 for something thicker that protected ur earphones but hav difficulty putting into ur pocket..4 wat?
 apparently KC told Jac..well..nvm la..too tired to go confront him..so be it la..once it happens they'll all know sooner or later right? i know i'll really regret..but it's e only way i have left..with all that has happened..n wat i'm facing now..thinking of it makes me cry..but there's no turning back now..live through it..it's only gonna be 1 n a half month......will consider permanent after tat..but let's see how..
actually..there'll be only 1 reason that'll make me stay..i half hope it happens, half hope it doesnt happen..it's seriously a dilemma that i'm facing..plus all e stress tats piling up..when will this nightmare end??
Quote of e day: Out of the three gifts of faith, hope and love, the greatest of all is love. - Corinthians 13:13 i'll add -- it's greater to give than to receive =)
scribbled by =CaLiStA= at 1:26:00 AM
time for some updates! long time since i came to blog..
4th October 2007 Thursday today is a fun day..woke up early 2 go Orchard MRT to meet my in-charge to get list n hp to do work from home for Smart Expo this yr..wow..dis is my 1st time working from home..interesting..i was to be paid from 11am till 7pm to call n sms e entire list of pple..19 pages!! studied my Ethics first..
got bored..borrowed dad's car..went to get lunch 4 qihui n went her house @ lakeside to do work..wee..drive far far..hate slow cars who think they're so fast..grr..we got bored soon too..she was watching Tu Dou n i was staring at a list of excel names..gosh..so we decided to go IMM to shop..
dis is e interesting part..we read in their website that there were wheelchairs available..but when we got there we asked e guard he asked us 2 go 2 e unloading bay to ask..after discussion they lent us their emergency wheelchair..lol..they had no idea that e shopping centre offered wheelchairs!!
they let us park at their unloading bay..wow..no need go search parking n it's a super spacious lot! n i had fun pushing QH around in a wheelchair..something i've not done b4 in my entire life..it was seriously an experience..we had fun though..she actually managed 2 try clothing at Fila! i think e guy is super amused by us..haha..we managed to shop ALOT at daiso..wee..den we went home..  I bought dis for fishy..juz had to.. =P
met her aunt..den we left for the East at around 8.30pm..now got prob..no guard at e taxi stand..gotta put QH down 1st den i go park car..we decided 2 have fishy coz she couldnt go far..well, e entire meal was on calling..coz i couldnt finish..n guess wat, i was paid until 10pm..power..
oh..QH told me abt this forum article - apparently this lady wrote in..she was travelling at 90km/hr on ECP on e extreme right lane..thinking she was right..coz within e speed limit..den this car..was super fast..behind her..flashing high beam..she said she had no intention giving way coz she was in no wrong..he could easily overtake her from the left..he continued flashing..gave up n overtook her on e left..n he jammed brake..she said lucky she was a safe distance n managed to brake in time as well..knn..hello woman..u think u're so right.. 1. extreme right lane is for EMERGENCIES only..by right only emergency vehicles are allowed to use e right lane 2. didnt highway code teach u to overtake on the right? e guy was in no wrong.. 3. speed limit is 90km/hr..but we are given allowance of 10km/hr to a max of 20km/hr.. 4. pple flash high beam = in a rush..cant u juz give way? i'll say e person was in e wrong to jam brake to get u in trouble..but seriously, i think u deserve it..WAKE UP WOMAN! i wonder whether any1 replied to her article..gosh..stupid or wat..
went home at around 12+..e feeling came back again..no good..sigh..
5th October 2007 Friday
Met Harj at 7.15am at PP bus stop n we took a bus to Suntec..guess wat..i forgot to bring e list..shoot..so gotta go back..n we took a cab to Suntec..gosh..the ERP alone costs so much..madness..SG government eating all our money..grr..
e day was slow..carry heavy things..n i had to continue with e calling..harj didnt slp e nite b4..n she looked real tired..n we were actually working at nite..omg..we really regret putting schedule..
Jac was making a card for Ponty's bday..u know..it's really sweet..n nice..i used to do tat for my 1st bf..now..i think guys cant appreciate dis kind of thing..sad to say..well, it's too early to say..i may decide to make 1 for my next bf..haha..
think every1 know we tired..long queue..madness..i was reminded of e Sat nite with 3 staffs..sales was good..kitchen almost jammed..glad e day ended..went Giant 2 get stuff..wanted to share cab with harj n jac..but i left my book behind n had to go take..grr..
shall update Saturday n Sunday later..busy busy.. =P
scribbled by =CaLiStA= at 11:24:00 PM
fun fun day today!
went class..basically spent e 3hrs editing my Income Tax Act..wow..after editing..it was 188 pages..faints..lucky Viny suggested printing 2 pages in 1 page double sided..reduced by cost by half..thanks girl! ur suggestion is great!
class ended early tdy..haha..profs are so nice..know we hav midterms den let us off early..e gd thing -- i hav no midterms! except for Ethics which is next mon..but it's basically a movie n some qns..Income Tax midterms is like at week 10..wow..
took bus home with XY..n was down to work..1stly called Fish Farm to enquire for MPW project..MPW proj is like so dead..we hafnt got a company..actually most grps hafnt got a company..most companies r unwilling to disclose HR info..it's pretty sensitive..prob prof not used to Singapore's culture..hmm..hopefully Fish Farm will allow us..if not we've gotta start on another alternative le! there goes my term break..everyday is project, study, project, study..wat break??
also made appointments for my free milk facial @ Wheelock n appointment at Leonard Drake for 2nd treatment.. =P
met harj in e evening..Sufi got into an accident..ouch..her bike went over some big rock n she was thrown off..thank god it was only minor injuries!
supposed to go East Coast Lagoon for dinner..but changed of plans..we decided to go Big Fish! hee..their ambience is nice..and their food was GOOD..we had  Breaded Brie Cheese with Prawns,  Fish & Chips, n  Warm Chocolate Souffle..sinful..
a perf meal..yummy..
took a nice walk all e way to Marine Parade Road n we were back at fishy..SLACK..i nitto start on my ethics..i'm such a lazy bugger..
guess wat..i nitto start work for e convention tomorrow! n it's work from home! something new..hehe..i like..at 1st pretty curious on how they're gonna pay me..she said from 11am-7pm! wow..thats 8hrs..power..actually like that can slack..but no lah..i'm not tat type of person..wee..happy happy..
my latest goals 1. to get gd results 2. to prove to u tat my life is beta off without u in it
seriously..i'm being bitter abt dis..i dunno y..i guess dis is prob when love turns into hatred..it's a sad thing..but i've gotta learn to be strong n really accept dis fully..pick up e pieces of my life n return to e normal me..i really really love u..
scribbled by =CaLiStA= at 11:39:00 PM
managed to drag myself to sch today.was so not motivated.AMA lessons r something tat i dont look forward to on Tues..i guess it's e way e prof carries out his lesson..it's so intimidating..he wants us to talk..but if we state a wrong pt he'll shoot us back..if we state something gd he praises like it's so perfect..gosh..and wat peer evaluation..is as gd as shooting our own frens down right? crap..
Ethics lesson was v short..XY n i were staring at livejournal, facebook n friendster trying to figure something out..well, i was shocked at wat i found out..i hope it's juz that we're being mislead n we think too much..i juz cant believe it..1pm n we were done with lesson..
met Bernard in e evening..went to catch Rouge Assassin..its quite a nice show actually..but guess wat..he actually slept for a short while..haha..
couldnt decide where to go for dinner..ended up taking NEL in e idea of going to Hougang..den last min get down at Potong Pasir n we walked to Toa Payoh..haha..
took e last bus home..
u know..i was so tempted to juz take a walk at those areas i used to go every week..but i stopped myself..1stly..it's already 11+..2ndly..it's no point..wat for brood over memories? now it's time to walk out of this n grow..i got many obstacles to face..n learn to be independent n not rely on anyone else..
tdy is day 1 of plan.....
scribbled by =CaLiStA= at 12:57:00 AM
Sunday was a pretty gd day..Went to meet Michelle for lunch..i tot she came after service to meet me..but nope..we were going for service!! supposed to meet harj at 1st but she cancelled our appt..n i was actually pretty excited to go!
we went to hall 9..i was wondering..where is it gonna be held? n tiff told me they'll release e shutters den u go in..wow..not like other church where pple file in den talk talk until start..it was like walking into S.H.E.'s concert once more! v modern..e feeling was very very friendly..e feeling of back in church was superb..i guess u'll call that a calling..i really felt v touched..n warmth filled my heart..a warmth tat i hafnt felt for a very long time..e teachings tdy were abt ur family n ur loved ones..how a husband shld treat his wife, treat ur children, how children shld treat their parents..well, let's state e 3 reasons why children will get angry with their parents.. 1. Living in the past - parents r too old fashion! 2. Over-controlling - not giving freedom, curfew, etc. 3. Under-controlling - only meeting material needs Actually there were 4..e last one slipped my mind :( it was really meaningful n i enjoyed e entire session..
believe or not..i seriously felt lighter after that...Calista.... b4 n after service were different pple..i feel awaken..my goals now r much more clearer..n e decision tat i made lies v strong ahead of me..now is only 2 put e plan into place..hopefully all works out smoothly..
a pretty busy night..guess wat? i actually volunteered not to do inventory tonight..it was my 1st step of my plan..although i keep feeling i made e wrong decision n tat i shld have stayed..but i'm glad tat i managed to control myself n bring myself out of e restaurant by 11.15pm..good..  
1st is a cake from Chocs a customer bought 4 his gf..wee..n pics we took whilst waiting for 11pm..
managed to get to class dis morn :) it's an improvement..n i actually listened 70% tdy n took pretty lots of notes..next thing is to print all out..i totally 4got where i stopped..nitto sit down n see all tat i have b4 printing more..
went for waxing..hee..nice nice..n i signed up a package plan..well, i shld..cheaper..i did a full leg today.exposed my entire legs to everyone..n perhaps inside once awhile was shown..but i guess they're used to it..
bad habit acted up..went pp twice..1st 4 lunch..couldnt resist..i gave myself reasons juz to be there..n in e evening..i really nitto practise controlling myself..
did e car in e evening..n u know wat? e car has super bad scratches at e bottom..omg.. *faints* mum thinks it's a trolley tat hit e car..some fucker cant control his trolley..so much 4 trying to patch up e car..i feel bad..i wonder how much repairs will cost..wanna go back pp n find cctv cameras..but mum thinks it's no pt going thru all e trouble.. =(
scribbled by =CaLiStA= at 10:17:00 PM
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